We never lie so well but to preserve our thin honor;
We are never so earnest as when making a fast dollar.
Our freshest sincerity is out of a shiny tin can:
Vacuum packed spirit is a more durable scam!
The shelf life of our best ideas and emotions,
follows the market for authentic snake oil lotions.
The wild, wild west is with us on a runaway horse;
Screamin an’ hollerin is our state sponsored course.
God knows the devil loves to laugh through his dirty ass;
We wake up drunk to find out he’s been outclassed!
Jesus, this is a story more true than Jehosaphat,
who couldn’t jump over a fat snoring Democrat.
Darvish comes up short what to say about all this;
Sometimes the best way to relax is just take a long piss.
